Complete
by Lacus Somniorum
Summary: A fic relating Faust's thoughts upon losing his wife, and after Ana brought her back. Pls. R&R. one of my very first fics.


Complete  
  
~~~  
  
I don't know why I'm feeling different after my first battle with that little boy, Yoh Asakura. I suddenly felt the gush of hope brushed my skin when he smiled at me. Something like, I still have somewhere to go, in the future. Funny, in losing, the feeling felt afterwards is supposed to be depression, I guess. Not hope. Not a new life. Speaking of hope, I tried my best to remember the reason why I have pushed this "hope" aside and ignored it, instead of blurting out all my thanks to whoever gave the feeling of hope to me.  
  
I ignored it.  
  
Perhaps the sole reason is that, I do not believe in intuition.  
  
I believe on what I have researched.  
  
I believe on what I have examined.  
  
On what I have read.  
  
On what I have seen, touched...  
  
... and felt.  
  
Another dull morning started as I tried to open my heavy eyelids. The same dream last night. A familiar looking woman that I think I have seen not a long time ago. Was that the girl behind Asakura after my Shaman fight? I guess not. She couldn't just trust me that easily after I have threatened the life of her fiancée's friend. Why have I done that anyway?  
  
I try to pull myself together to sit down, but found my legs and my abdomen unable to contract and move instead. Impossible, the drug never failed me. Just a shot to my over fatigued muscles, the next day it will work well again. Perhaps I miscalculated the dosage... Yes...... Perhaps that's it.  
  
I try to sit down again due to my stubbornness. My muscles complained a lot during their simple work early in the morning, and I thought I was going to bleed. Bless the angels, I was able to arch my back properly and bring me sitting down on my double-sized bed.  
  
My double-sized bed. Was that supposed to be "ours"? Well, it belonged to another person too, aside from myself.... once....  
  
I turned to my side to face the small picture frame standing on it's own on top of the side table. What was supported by the silver-edged frame was a portrait of myself, standing beside my beloved wife. She was smiling. The smile that kept haunting me every single day. The sweet smile of my beloved wife....  
  
My Eliza.  
  
Just a thought of her changes my mood. She sends me crashing onto the ground that I have despised all of my life. She makes me laugh although what I really want is cry.  
  
There's no use remembering her. She's no longer with me anyway. We got separated by two dimensions without a visible bridge to bind them together, it is only in my dreams where I see her. But I am not contented.  
  
I was never contented.  
  
Never, until I get what I really want.  
  
My alarm clock beeped once...  
  
And what is it that I want?  
  
... Twice.  
  
The other half of my heart, so that once again, I can be complete.  
  
.... Thrice.  
  
I slammed my palms on the small button on top of my dumb alarm clock with a grouchy snort. Hell, why did I set the alarm last night anyway? It's Saturday. I don't have anything to do. My bills paid, my food bought, I've got everything I need within reach.  
  
I smirked softly, almost sadly. No, not everything, Faust.  
  
After cleaning the backyard, the house and the basement, I can now relax. Every single day I do this, nothing's really new.. nothing changes. And nothing will change, unless that hunch was real.  
  
A faint laugh echoed in the four-cornered room where I was. Hunch.. Hahah... Hunch. I just repeated what I was saying before I got off my bed. I'm like a broken cd player that can soon crack the smooth surface of the disc playing inside me. I better take a bath after cooking lunch. Then, I'm off to the basement.  
  
My lunch's done. Now's the time for the bath. It is natural for a widowed man, or even a married one, to take a bath to wash off all his worries. I turned the faucet off to avoid creating a lake inside the bathroom. Eliza has always left the faucet running. And I have to spend my whole afternoon cleaning the mess up. But of course, my reward is settled off for supper when she cooks me my favorite dish that she studied and perfected. All for my happiness. Something compared to a little boy's reward after trimming the old neighbor's grass.  
  
I undress slowly and dip my body into the warm water. Cool and refreshing. I raise my chin up and rested the back of my neck on the edge of the bathtub. How I longed for her touch once again.  
  
Sometimes, I pity myself for this fate bestowed upon me. Everyday as I go shopping, people outside would stare at me while mumbling their useless criticisms. I hate it when people treat me like a monster, like I'm far different than them, where in fact, I really am far different. What I don't understand is, why they never believed and accepted things that are better than them, something far from their grasp but is easily possessed and controlled by other special beings. They're stubborn, so stubborn. They even could not believe that a loving and sincere woman like Eliza would accept my proposal. They think I don't deserve her. I don't deserve her love, her everything, and hated me more. And because of the hatred accumulating deep inside them, they killed my innocent wife.  
  
I love my wife, my only companion, why in the world should I do such thing?  
  
But of course, people would have heard those words in TV. before, when media men interview criminals after killing their own wife, or child. How could I kill my own blood?  
  
Yeah, right. People killing, for anything that would benefit themselves.  
  
Sometimes, I wish those imbecile just took my own life instead of hers. She was so nice, so perfect to be buried beneath a disgusting mud. They can take everything away from me, my life, my property, my wealth, to make me suffer. But never harm my wife. If so, I prefer dying for her, than my wife dying for me. Still, I have to accept it. Mourning over the dead at present will give you nothing in the future. I have to move on. I must move on.... but...  
  
...but...  
  
I can't..  
  
.... I just can't.  
  
Some things are easier said than done.  
  
My eyelids felt heavy. I didn't know that tears can make your eyelids close and induce sleep. I have let my body lead the way, instead of crying like a baby while relaxing on the bathtub.  
  
~~~  
  
Perhaps a month already passed, and I'm in the middle of a desert. It's so hot but I don't mind removing my cloak. I even have the scarf around my neck to complete my attire, but I don't want to take it off. My body was writhe and weak, but I have decided not to rest until I have found what I have been looking for.  
  
I have recalled one day that there is a woman who posses an ability to call spirits from the other world. I know her, I believe. She's what I have to look for now and ask her to teach me her ways. And when that happens, there's no reason for me to join the Shaman Fight, no more. I'm done with dealing with shamans, I have to return to my daily living, I have to return to my laboratory, the papers and experiments I have set aside. No time for Shaman fights anymore. There are much more important things to deal with than that.  
  
The wind blew and I'm left to watch as the brown particles and dust swirl with the wind and fall down to where it came from. It's difficult to walk through the dessert when the wind blows hard, at least the strongest blow passed a few hours ago before I left that shop. Looking far from where I am, I saw a blurred figure far away. Was that person wearing a black or dark blue shirt? I can't tell unless I come nearer to him. But I'm sure of the large scarf that covered his head that perhaps protected her from the sandstorm that may come again. If this place was right, I can ask that guy if he has seen Miss Ana.  
  
Walking closer to the figure, I noticed that the person was wearing a skirt, an overall black skirt not even touching her knees. I soon learned that this was a she, and she was the person I have sought for. Slowly I walked to her, a bit upset of seeing her back, not her face. It did not assured me of success.  
  
Still, who knows? After all, she does resemble her a lot.  
  
"Ana Kyoyama?" I called slowly. I felt my heart skip a beat when she turned around to face me, and reply to my call.  
  
She stared at my clothes, up to my face, and lastly (she wrinkled her nose a bit, perhaps disgusted) to my hat. She looked back at my face. I recalled the usual cool expression on her face, the same expression I have seen on her when I battled against her fiancé.  
  
"Yes?" She answered. I was a lot taller than her, she had to lift her face high like a boasting woman just to see my face. I, on the other hand, found it easier to look at her and see if she shows something on her face, telling me I wasn't expected.  
  
I look at her relaxed face, without any expression to my amazement. Perhaps I really am expected.  
  
"Were you expecting me to meet you?"  
  
"Yes, and you're just in time. We will be entering the village to find our comrades."  
  
"I didn't searched for you to accompany you and your comrades to the Village, Miss Kyoyama."  
  
She stared first before speaking again.  
  
"What is your purpose, then? Faust?"  
  
Silently I approach her. I stopped when we were already two feet away. To my surprise, she didn't raised her defenses against me. She didn't even bothered to grab something to attack me, or to defend herself, just in case I attack. All she did was stare.  
  
Perhaps she's 'all ears' right now.  
  
"I want to learn your ability to call fourth the dead spirits." I closed my eyes and protected my eyes from the blazing sun.  
  
She was silent. I don't know if she was about to laugh and make fun of me, or if she's going to refuse. No words came from her. Well, she was 'all ears' all right, with no capability to speak.  
  
No, I'm supposed to be serious about this. This is the only way I know to bring Eliza back. Like I said before, my shaman days will be over, once I get my wife's soul back.  
  
Finally, she spoke. "Is that what you really wanted?"  
  
I allow her to continue. I raise my eyes to look at her, if she was serious or if she was as crazy and hopeless as I am right now.  
  
"What about the Shaman Fight? The Shaman Title? Your studies on Eliza? What will you do?"  
  
"Nothing else matters to me now," I turn my back on her, a little upset. "I understand why you will surely refuse. I wasn't expecting you to teach me that in the first place..."  
  
I was about to take my path back home when I heard the sound of her beads moving. I didn't looked back, though I know she was moving.  
  
"Your quest for this knowledge is not as stable as you seem to want. You may make me believe that the title is of no use to you, what only matters is this ability that you wanted to possess," she paused. ".. Or what you seem to want to possess. But I am willing to grant you something that you really need. Not strength, not power, not honor..."  
  
A strange light glowed from behind me, from her. I had to see what she was doing. I must see.  
  
Turning around, I watch her hold the beads before her, and in a moderate voice, she called out.  
  
"You need a guardian, Faust. A guardian, a companion. Nothing is of the essence to you, nothing else except that thing your heart never forgets. But I tell you, you need to continue your life as a Shaman. To do so, you will need this..."  
  
My eyes widened. I had to shut it close and cover it with my hands to avoid hurting it.  
  
"Kneel down, Faust. And be grateful!!"  
  
I knelt down as she ordered. She took a couple of steps back and chanted as she moved the beads to the sides before her. That was all I saw, the light became greater, so great, my eyes wasn't able to bear it anymore.  
  
Minutes passed, the warm feeling of the lights went down. The heat decreased, telling me that everything was over. I opened my eyes. And instead of seeing the small girl in red, I saw someone else.  
  
She had long blonde hair that was straight from her head to her shoulders and grew wavy to the tip down to her hips. Her long legs and thin arms looked perfect to me. My eyes became teary when I saw her dress looking new that day I saw her sprawled on the floor, her clothes tattered and torn on the part of her chest, and thighs. The warm tears continued its way down to my chin when I saw her soft face looking back at me.  
  
At first I was stammering. My jaw won't shut close, my eyes won't blink. I was paralyzed. My chest was shaking a little, and I was sobbing. When I heard that soft, muffled sound I made. I was able to release the words staying on my throat.  
  
"Eliza?"  
  
She nodded and knelt down to me. She wrapped her hands around my neck and pulled me closer to her warm body. That time, I couldn't control my tears. It flowed out like a salty waterfall from my eyes. I sobbed, I whispered her name several times and she would whisper back at me into my ears, "Everything's alright, my love.." while hushing me to silence. I felt so embarrassed to be seen by Kyoyama crying, but I couldn't help it. My guilt that had formed in my head when she died came back to me.  
  
"It was my fault, Eliza! I wasn't home, I didn't came back home right away to get you some useless things so I wasn't able to defend you. I tried everything to bring you back, but all my wretched studies were useless it didn't helped. Nothing did. Everyone said I did it, and all I could think was it was my fault..."  
  
She tightened her hold, pulled me closer to her.  
  
"Enough, Faust. It's all over. I'm back, and that's all you have to accept, okay?"  
  
I nodded.  
  
I silenced when I smelt her hair. The fragrant aroma I loved to intake before I go to sleep. I always keep a bottle of her moisturizer in my room, to cheer me up when I'm feeling sad.  
  
But I don't need those things anymore. The real Eliza's back. My purpose has been fulfilled. Finally I really can relax. Finally, everything I need was really within my reach...  
  
... Finally...  
  
~~~  
  
I suddenly snapped out from my morning reverie, and found myself inside the bathroom. I probably have slept while relaxing in the bathtub. And a knock on the door woke me up.  
  
"Faust! Do you plan to make a prune out of yourself? You have been staying there for half an hour!!" A familiar female voice yelled from the outside.  
  
"Yes, yes. I'll be right there in a minute." I smiled, not even moving a muscle.  
  
"In a minute?" She laughed. "And how long do you want that 'minute' to end? Thirty minutes?"  
  
"Alright, alright! I'm coming!" I chuckled. Closing my eyes, I submerged my head into the warm water and stood up on the tub and grabbed a towel to dry my skin. When I knew I was dry enough, I put my blue silk bathrobe on and stepped out of the tub. I wrapped the towel on my hair and stepped outside. My loving wife confronted me with her hands on her waist, an eyebrow raised.  
  
"So three minutes is equal to one minute to your clock?" She glanced at her wristwatch. "Are you planning to create a new sun dial?"  
  
She approached me and wrapped her arms around my neck. "Not really." I smirked.  
  
"Shall we visit the basement tonight, doctor?" She smiled sweetly at me, her eyes fixed on mine.  
  
"No, not tonight, my dear. Not ever." I gathered her in my arms and spoke in her ear softly.  
  
"You want me to close it up?" She asked.  
  
"Eliza." I cupped her cheek, my thumb brushing her lips.  
  
"We don't need it anymore, my dear."  
  
"Hmm?" She stared at me wide eyed. "How come?"  
  
Smiling, I kissed her again, more passionately than before. I took a couple of steps forward to lock her between me and a wall, my hand stroking her long blonde hair, the other holding her right hand. Her left hand was holding my neck, massaging my skin as our kiss deepens.  
  
I wanted to tell her how she made my life complete. I wanted to say, all the basement's purpose was to find a way to bring her back to me, bring her body back to life, along with her soul.  
  
I also wanted to say that without Yoh and his fiancée, Lyserg, Ryu, Horo- horo, and Manta, I wouldn't be living with my wife again. My life would have shut completely in the battle against Yoh's twin brother Hao if I was alone, without Eliza.  
  
After Miss Ana brought Eliza's soul back from the dead, I urged myself to offer something to Kyoyama in return, to show my gratitude, and my thanks. I had to fight with her, with her comrades. Not only that I had to, I wanted to. In their company I learned to smile again, (with Eliza, of course) I rediscovered my purpose as a doctor, not as a necromancer, by helping ordinary mortals return to their ordinary lives, free from fatal illnesses. Doing those kind of things didn't enlighten only me, but Eliza as well.  
  
I felt myself heave a sigh. She moved away from me a little to look straight at me.  
  
"What's the matter, Faust?"  
  
I shook my head. "Nothing we should worry about. I was just recalling the past."  
  
"I see." Eliza bowed her head. She lifted it back up when something came to her. "Speaking of the past, you remember what we used to do if we want to clear out minds and relax?"  
  
"Uhh..." I looked up at the ceiling. "The rooftop?"  
  
"Yes." She smiled at me. "I want to go there later."  
  
"Then we'll go together."  
  
She moved closer to me and kissed my cheek. Then she hugged me tightly. She did liked that, didn't she?  
  
We walked to the breakfast table to eat. Funny, a few minutes ago, I was dreaming of my scary past, and now, I am dining with my most desirable dreams. My hunch was real, all right.  
  
Now, I finally am complete.  
  
~~~  
End  
  
a/n: Liked it? Naah, don't think so. I wanted to finish it now, so I did.  
I'm not really impressed, but I was thinking right now to write a sequel.  
and this time, (my friend's favorite) I'll put a few lemon juices in it.  
It's one of my first fics, and I've never wrote a lemon before, so bear  
with me, okee?  
- Lacus Somniorum  
  
Disclaimer: Shaman King characters I used in this fic is not mine...  
And I mean it. (I like Faust a lot, so if you guys wanna hand him over...  
joke) ^_^ 


End file.
